I know I am insanely behind on “The Jersey Shore” wagon. I am not even positive I would admit to actually being “on” the wagon..but after 3 seasons and hearing that these gremlins were shooting in Italy for the 4th season, I figured it was about time that I found out what “fist pumping” was all about.
Now I’ve had friends that have watched religiously for the entirety of the show so I already knew somewhat about “t-shirt time” and “g.t.l.” and you can’t open a magazine or watch E! tv without seeing something about Snookie’s well…anything! I didn’t realize, however, that even though I do not have anything in common with these creatures, I can now put my embarrassment aside and say that I really do find them endlessly entertaining!
James and I watched season 1 and 2 this weekend and honestly didn’t do too much of anything else. I felt like one with the couch…so much so that I just made myself take a walk because I was starting to feel like I had some sort of lazy disease. Hopefully this coffee will give me a little jolt.
Let’s recap on the cast, shall we? I know I haven’t seen all of the 3rd season yet, but I still can’t seem to decide who I hate more. Who I LOVE to hate is more like it. I hated losing Angelina after the first couple of episodes of season 1 because she brought so much drama and I love to watch a good fight. I can’t stand the arrogance that “the situation” brings to EVERY situation! …but then he reels me right back in with his sunday dinners. Jwow’s a beast. I would not want to run into her on a bad day..that’s all I’m saying. Snookie is incredibly annoying. Incredibly. I would kill her if I had to live with her weird “MEH!” noises…like nails on a chalkboard, that one! Vinny seems like a sweet kid…except I feel sorry for the lady he ends up with because he is such a mom’s boy I am not sure he will be able to function in a relationship. Does Pauly seem dirty to anyone else? I can’t put my finger on it..but he just always seems greasy! maybe it’s the hair…and then there’s Sam and Ronnie. They have issues. Am I forgetting anyone? I just started watching season 3 so I have a little taste of Deena and I can’t seem to decide if she’s going to make a lasting impression on me yet. I’ll give it some more time.
So what have they taught me? Well first of all, thank you LORD that I am not on a reality tv show. I’m starting to feel embarrassed for them! I know they make crap loads of money so they are probably fine with it but a camera to document every second of my drunken summer??! no thanks. If I was living that life, I think I would be extra careful about my alcohol intake. It seems like everything happens because of the liquid courage. Every fight, every arrest, every hookup, all stems from the booze. The hookup board grossed me out. So many sloppy kisses in that show!
They might all die from skin cancer. ouch. I mean..how much of a tan do you need? Snookie looks like a freakin’ oompa loompa! And what’s more…the beach is across the street. Really? At least go get some real sun instead of baking in a box. Then they could show off their kickass bodies that they work so hard at the gym for and then maybe the situation wouldn’t have to lift his shirt up every night at the clubs to show the girls his “situation”.
They have their own language that I now feel I am fluent in. I now know the definition of “smooshing”, “cookah”, “gorilla juicehead”, “grenade”, “meatball”, and of course, “dtf”. and yes, I do feel dumber.
OH my goodness, I don’t think I can listen to Sammie say “I’m done.” one more time. She and Ron go back and forth and it is so sad to watch but after a couple of episodes of them being lovey dovey with each other, I find myself ready for another go around…because you know it’s inevitable. Poor girl’s been over played and she just keeps going back for more. For a moment I felt sorry for her, but she’s a bipolar psycho every other episode and Ron looks just as dumb. Ron broke his number 1 rule, “Don’t fall in love at the Jersey shore.” and those are words to live by, people.
The number 1 thing that I learned from watching this show is that there is no point in hard work. These idiots make it very clear that wealth does not come from earning respect or working for your pay but instead, making a mockery of your heritage and having little or no skill in basically anything…except for maybe getting trashed, tanned, and into a fight.
Now unfortunately the problem is me as much as it is them. Because I will continue to allow “The Jersey Shore” into my life from this point on and therefore be part of the putting of millions of dollars into their hands. It’s a sad story but I am hooked! I love the drama and can’t wait to see what kind of disaster happens next.
Alright so you may want to kill yourself for even wasting your time reading this but after all the trash talking I have been doing over the last couple of years the show has been on, I felt like after devoting a full weekend to “The Jersey Shore”, I made a little room for it in my heart and it deserved a little blip on the blog.